If you’re a sports junkie like me there’s gonna be times when your love life and your sports life go head to head. You wanna watch the game, she wants to go to the mall, church, the dentist, or basically anywhere you can’t watch the game. Unless you’re lucky enough to be going out with a female “junkie”, you’re gonna find yourself in the “your team or me” arguments. An argument that she’s gonna lose unless you concede for some reason. Letting your relationship crash due to sports seems worth it until the rumor starts to spread that you broke up with her because you prefer watching men play with balls. That’s not a good look. I’ve created this brief guide to help you avoid those rumors and include your honey in your sports life.
THE NEW RELATIONSHIP
If you’ve just met a new woman and you want to give her a peek into your weird, superstitious, crack like addiction to the sports world, take her to a baseball game. There’s nothing like being out at the yard on a warm summer day, eating overpriced stadium food and drinking overpriced stadium beer, with a female you’re trying to get to know. The pace of the game allows for plenty of conversation, and the basic rules are simple enough for anybody (male or female) to understand so you won’t have to spend a lot of time explaining what’s going on on the field. If you have the right seats, there’s the thrill of possibly catching a foul ball, and copping a feel protecting her from the incoming projectile. The key is the talking. If you don’t get a good read on a person after 9 innings either A) you need to step your game up or B) she’s hiding SOMETHING and you need to make that the last date.
If basketball is your game of choice there’s two options. Invite her to your place to watch the game or go to a sports bar. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take her to a game. The tickets to the game are kinda pricey… There’s no need to blow that kinda dough in the beginning. Also, the up and down action (of the game) can be a little too exciting, leaving you with timeouts, halftime, and food runs as your only time to really talk to her. If you go the “invite her to your crib” route make sure you have food. I suggest you have two choices planned for the main course. It doesn’t matter if you’re offering McDonald’s or spaghetti, just have the options. If you have one choice of food, you better believe it’s gonna be something she doesn’t want or like. Your also gonna need a variety of snack foods and some beverages. Again, options are key, because we know how THEY do. A woman will go out of her way to make you go out of your way. You gotta head her off at the pass.
Going to the sports bar is fun and dangerous. It’s fun because you’re hanging out in a hype atmosphere, eating and drinking, and chillin wit mami. It’s dangerous because if this relationship actually goes anywhere she’s gonna think that she has sports bar privileges all the time. She would be wrong. I don’t know what it is but there’s a major difference between going on a date to the sports bar and taking your girl to the sports bar. It’s cool to go to a sports bar with the fellas and meet some women, but it’s lame to go to the sports bar with the fellas and bring your woman.
THE OLD RELATIONSHIP
At this point, you know her like the back of your hand. Some days you hope joke that she goes missing, some days are tolerable. Don’t get it twisted, you get on her nerves too. If you want have to go to a sporting event together now’s the time for basketball. Yes you’re gonna drop some money, but if it’s your girl it’s worth it.The same reasons you don’t wanna take a new relationship to a basketball game are the exact reasons you should take an old relationship. There’s gonna be the non-stop action on the floor so you won’t have to talk much. She’s out and about, eating (hopefully having a good time), and she can brag to her friends that she got to see AI. You get to see a game live, and earn some points towards “I’m hangin with the homies tonight”.
Baseball and the old relationship is a tough situation. It’s still fun to go to the park, but now you have to bring your woman. Why do you think you see so many older dudes listening to a game on the radio or filling out a scorecard? They’re saying “look baby, I brought you to the game, now leave me the hell alone”. And watching a baseball game at home with the old lady.. Forget about it. Unless you have a private room and other tv’s dispersed throughout the pad, you’re about to get 3+ hours of “this is boring..let’s talk about us” or “ooooh look at this outfit in my new _____ catalogue… don’t you think it would go great with my green ____ shoes?” Ladies, we don’t know and we don’t care. Another thing fellas.. She might let you watch that baseball game, but you’re gonna be logging some serious American Idol time later.
FOOTBALL AND DATING
It’s a simple one word answer. NO. We don’t go with them to the OB/GYN, they don’t need to watch football with us.
I hope this helps!!
PS… If I’m currently dating you and you read this. I’m just joking…. For the most part.
Time is running out… If you haven’t checked out my “Can You Help A Brotha Out??”post, please do. I’m asking for everybody that goes to that post to leave a number from 1 to 16 in the comments section. IT DOESN’T MATTER if the number you leave is a repeat. You’re all kind of voting on something that will be revealed in a post tomorrow. One thing I don’t understand is that quite a few people have visited the post but only 20 people have left a number. To quote Mark Jackson, “You’re better than that”.
Jason Whitlock has obviously been hanging out at the Huxtable house.. He has eaten the pudding pop… Mr. Whitlock appeared on Tucker Carlson’s show on MSNBC. He’s there to talk about Don Imus making the comment that “his offensive language was the product of African-American culture not the creation of white America” (quote Tucker), and his own article in the Kansas City Star. Here are my favorite parts of the interview:
Tucker:What do you mean the bigots win again?
Jason: I mean the people that don’t wanna see black people advance, have won. And it’s because we keep deluding ourselves and getting caught up in distractions that have nothing at all to do with what is setting back, holding black people back and it’s our own self-hatred.
The people that don’t wanna see black people advance have won? I would have to say it’s at least a tie. Imus got fired. I could be wrong but I’m thinking the PTDWSBPA didn’t want Don Imus to lose his job. The claim that black people’s “own self-hatred is holding them back” is buzzword journalism.. J’s doing an effective job of making sure his comments get played over and over… Does Jason really mean to say that all of black America’s problems would be cured if black on black crime stopped? That’s what the 400 years of oppression has been about? Black on black crime!?! C’mon let’s be serious. I’m not the smartest man in the world so take what I’m saying with a grain of salt, use your own brainInternet and take a look at some of these issues. If every black person in America got together right now and said there will be no more “self-hatred” are doors to the boardrooms going to magically open? Will more black coaches be hired in college football? Will Pac and Biggie come back? I’m gonna say no, no, and no. Violence in the black community needs to stop, but so does violence in every community. The murder rates for different races, regions, cities, and states are meaninglessly compared when the focus should be on stopping violence period. There shouldn’t be drive-bys or school shootings.
Jason:Don Imus is irrelevant to what’s going on with black people. Don Imus is no threat to us. Don Imus will not shoot one of us in the street, he will not impregnate our daughter or our sister and abandon that kid and that woman.
So Imus isn’t a gang-banger or a deadbeat dad.. That doesn’t preclude him from being a racist. Shooting someone or knocking up their sister(or daughter) aren’t the only ways to degrade a human life. Somebody broadcasting racism to the masses via radio and television is relevant and can be very threatening. There are gang violence and teenage pregnancy problems in the “community” and institutional racism problems in the society. The existence of gangs and unwed teenage mothers doesn’t give people that make racist comments a pass.
Jason:Don Imus is a bad shock jock who cracked a bad joke.
As far as “shock jocks” go, Don Imus is (was?) one of the best. He’s often referred to as the “Howard Stern before Howard Stern”, and, more recently, that “racist muthafucka on tv”. While his shows haven’t always drawn the biggest numbers he’s always had people talking about him.
When I think of a bad joke I think about Jay Leno’s monologue, a joke actually written by Carlos Mencia.. something like that. “Nappy headed hoes”. What’s the punchline? I never considered “The Comment” being an attempt at humor. “Just kidding” can’t be the the go to password for everybody from Michael Ray Richardson to Mel Gibson.
Jason:Two ministers who have needed forgiveness in their own life don’t have the moral integrity to give this man the forgiveness that he has asked for in a sincere fashion.
I don’t know when Jackson and Sharpton are going to forgive Imus, but if they’re truly men of faith and religion, they have to forgive him. Forgiving him doesn’t mean wanting him to be on the air, but they should dismiss the negative feelings they have about him. When the two Revs get done letting bygones be bygones with Imus they need to go make amends in Durham… More on that later. +1 Whitlock.
Jason:I,I,I,I,I,I,I’m,I’m.
That’s all folks..
Tucker:Back to something you said a second ago… The two ministers you referred to who desperately need forgiveness in their own lives..I assume you’re talking about the Reverends Sharpton and Jackson.. Why are they? What is their role exactly in this? That’s always kinda confused me, I like Al Sharpton personally, but where did he and Jesse Jackson come in on this? Are they connected to this story really?
Jason:Yes. They’ve driven this story. Don Imus tried to apologize.. Jesse Jackson, Sharpton got involved.. Don Imus went on Sharpton’s show which in in retrospect, terrible mistake, he played right into Sharpton’s wheelhouse. But these guys have driven this issue.
Translation “Tucker: Let’s go back for a sec so we can rip on Jesse Jackson”. Tucker, my dude…Which question do you want Whitlock to answer? “Why are they?, What is their role exactly in this?, Where did he and Jesse Jackson come in on this?, or Are they connected to this story really?”.. I see where you’re going with that though.. Multiple questions.. That’s progressive. Just utter a bunch of questions and let the guest answer whatever they feel like. I like it. Here lemme try.. Where are your bow ties? Why are they? What is their role exactly in this? Are they connected to this story really?
Whitlock went with choice D from the question quiz, “Are they connected to this story really?”. He blames Jackson and Sharpton for driving the story. Jesse and Al don’t own Fox news, CNN, MSNBC, or any sports talk radio station in any city, and they didn’t force the Internet to go nuts. I won’t argue with anyone that says The Pherm (Jackson and Sharpton) are racial headline chasers. I like to call them racial crapshooters. Sometimes they hit their number, sometimes they crap out.
And of course Whitlock thought Imus going on Sharpton’s show to confront the issue was a terrible mistake.. Remember how he handled his beef with Scoop Jackson? From Scoop’s column in October ’06:
I really don’t know what’s eating Mr. Whitlock, because for all his issues with me and my style, he has never done the honorable thing, which is to call me so we can discuss it man-to-man. Even when we were sitting together at a table in a Dallas hotel lobby during the NBA Finals in June watching a World Cup game with Dan Le Batard, dude never said anything. Nothing. Even when invited by the producers of “Quite Frankly” to discuss the issue — his issue with me — in July, he refused.
I thought Imus did the right thing by going on the show. He had everything to lose and something to gain. He ended up losing his show anyway, but at least he wasn’t afraid to go on Sharpton’s show. Sharpton has always declined to go on Imus’ show. Don also gets credit for meeting with the Rutgers women and apologizing even though it’s highly unlikely, imo, that Imus is sorry for saying what he said. He’s sorry that what he said cost him his job and forced him to have to go talk to Sharpton and to some angry “nappy headed hoes”.
Jason: I would say to CBS, don’t negotiate with terrorist. Because that’s what Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are. They go around the country lighting fires and dividing people and then start picking everyone’s pocket. You never see them go back and apologize for the messes they make. Jesse Jackson, today, right now, should be down at Duke…Apologizing to those soccer players rather than trying to turn these basketball players at Rutgers into the ultimate victims. He owes the people down at Duke an apology for going and stirring in that mess and dividing people and dividing this nation. They’re terrorist, they go around this country starting fires, and they need to be stopped.
Whitlock just called Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton terrorists.. Unbelievable.. Unbelievably funny, unbelievably stupid, just unbelievable.. I’ve looked at that part at least 20 times. The clip went from mildly intersting to unintentionally hysterical at this point. I would of been cool if Jason had called them ____terrorists.. Something like racial subplot terrorists or boycott terrorists, but straight up Osama Bin Laden? Damn man. When can I get my Jesse Jackson/Al Sharpton deck of cards?
I’m a good googler. I can find anything. The one thing I can’t find is why Jesse Jackson should go to Duke and apologize to the soccer players. I used every trick I know and I can’t find one reason. Maybe Whitlock can explain that one, or maybe while he’s in the middle of being Mr. High and Mighty he had a brain fart, or, my personal favorite, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.
“Jesse Jackson, today, right now, should be down at Duke…Apologizing..” Absolutely. That’s part of the racial dice code. You crap out, you admit your mistakes and apologize where necessary. The code is universal and applies to all circumstances from the Duke lacrosse team to NBA players. Jesse sided with the wrong side in the Duke Lax scandal and he needs to man up and admit it.
I can’t get with the “dividing the nation” part of Jason’s statement. If Jesse Jackson can divide the nation we’ve been doomed. Who was divided over Jesse Jackson? Farrakahn has more pull than Jesseand NOBODY listens to Farrakahn.
Anybody over the age of 25 should have a good read on Jackson. On one hand, a lot of what Jesse does seems self serving, but on the other hand we need an old guard dog patrolling the yard. Sure, he’s not as sharp as he was years ago, and he barks at anything that moves, but he’s got your back even when he occasionally pisses in the house. Who else is gonna be willing to go out on a limb and support a lying stripper?
Tucker:By the way, Jesse Jackson pledged about a year ago that he was gonna pay the college tuition of the accuser, Crystal Gail Mangum in that case, I wonder if he still is. Finally I wonder if Jackson’s so bad then why does he have so much power? And why do people listen to him? and why do they do his bidding? I’m not sure I understand that.
Ok, once and for all.. Attention all non-blacks. JESSE JACKSON IS NOT THE KING OF THE BLACKS. Black people do not sit around waiting to here the latest proclamation from Reverend Jesse. We don’t have a leader that we all follow. We don’t have secret meetings..Cough.. If there was a KOTB he wouldn’t be that powerful anyways. His rule would be over 12.1% of our country’s population, roughly 35 million people. That would make the KOTB the third most powerful king in the land behind #1 George Bush (KOTW), 74.7% of the population (215 million people) and #2 Jennifer Lopez (KOTL), 14.5% of the population (42 million people).
Question quiz..Who’s doing Jesse’s bidding? Is he Jesse Jackson or Blacula? Who has the native Americans doing their bidding?
Not only did Jesse Jackson say his organization would pay the tuition of the accuser, he said they would pay even if she was lying. At the time he wanted to help her get away from the lacrosse team dial-a-h stripper lifestyle. Now she’s gonna be lucky to get a few bucks for beauty school.
Jason: A significant segment of black America is tired of Jesse Jackson. We look at his track record of his accomplishments and there’s nothing there. There’s nothing there. Other than Jesse and Al lining their pockets, they’ve done nothing. If you compare Jesse and Al to Martin and Malcolm and what those guys accomplished…it’s an embarrasment.
Whitlock..I get that you ain’t feelin Jesse but “we look at his track record of his accomplishments and there’s nothing there” is just a blatant lie. Jesse Jackson has stripes. He’s marched for Civil Rights, negotiated the release of hostages and I know you were right there chanting Run Jesse Run back in the day. Don’t let your quest for stardom get in the way of the facts.
Comparing Jesse and Al to Martin and Malcom is like comparing 1st and 10 to PTI. There’s no reason to do it because the latter is so superior to the former. If we’re judging folks on the M and M scale there’s very few people that will make the weight. Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X were two of the most important figures of the 20th century while Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are trying to keep the torch burning, and stay relevant in the 21st. I don’t always agree with their positions or methods, much like I don’t agree with Whitlock of late. I do agree with somebody, anybody, everybody, taking some sort of action instead of sitting on the sidelines criticizing the work of others. Organizing sit-ins and marches is doing more than writing columns dissing the people organizing the sit-ins and marches.
Jason:We need to vote ’em out and bring in new leadership. It’s not 1965, the problems aren’t the same as they were in 1965. It’s 2007. Black people have a new set of problems and we need some new leadership and people with new solutions. These guys are trying to drag us back into the 1940s and 50s.
Tucker: I nominate you Jason Whitlock. Actually. And I appreciate your coming.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this just in… Jason Whitlock has been nominated as the new King Of The Blacks by Tucker Carlson. I take back anything negative I might have said or typed about Tucker Carlson. He might be the funniest man alive. ” I nominate you, Jason Whitlock“? Who the fuck is Tucker Carlson to nominate anybody for KOTB? Doesn’t Tucker Carlson know anything? You must belong to the group before you can nominate somebody as the KOT_. I can nominate Oprah, Tucker can nominate Bill O’Reilly, and Jessica Alba can nominate a little bit of everybody. Carlson is over-stepping the bounds of cross nominating and that ain’t right.
Efforts to curb violence, improve the educational system, and create jobs in the community need to be stepped up. If there was ever a meeting of black leaders to discuss those problems, Jackson and Sharpton would be invited. Jason would be invited too, and I think that’s a good thing. Opinions from the old and new school should be respected. Views from the left and right should be considered. The more people involved and the more information shared the better. That way a plan can be devised that has everybody on the same page.
“We need to take a cue from White America and re-elect our leadership every four years. White folks realize that power corrupts. That’s why they placed term limits on the presidency. They know if you leave a man in power too long he quits looking out for the interest of his constituency and starts looking out for his own best interest.”
If I’m not mistaken, the leadership elected every 4 years is for all of America, not just white America… Uncle Jason, uncle Jason, tell us more about the mystical white man that knows power corrupts and places term limits on the presidency.. Can he fly?
*Whitlock himself appears to be a major hypocrite. In the 7th paragraph from the bottom of this columnJason says this of the NBA all-star game:
David Stern seriously needs to consider moving the event out of the country for the next couple of years in hopes that young, hip-hop hoodlums would find another event to terrorize. Taking the game to Canada won’t do it. The game needs to be moved overseas, someplace where the Bloods and Crips and hookers and hoes can’t get to it without a passport and plane ticket.
Bloods and Crips and hookers and hoes… So what you’re saying is there’s a difference when………
The biggest issue to arise from the Imus fiasco is why can (black) rappers and (black)comedians say “hoe” but everybody’s mad at Don Imus for saying it?.. I gotta be honest. When I first heard the comments, I was more offended by the “nappy headed” portion of the statement than I was the hoes part. I don’t agree with calling women bitches and hoes, but the racist part of his comments burned a little more than the misogynistic parts. I’m not trying to be a sexist but if Don Imus said I was at the mall and I saw some hoes I don’t think many people would say anything. If Don Imus said I was at the mall and saw that nappy headed coach Tony Dungy there would be more outrage. I think most people that are taking offense to Imus’ comments are doing so because he clearly identified the Rutgers Women’s basketball team as the target of his blast. It’s strange to me that nobody is really calling out Imus producer Bernard McGuirk for his comment. He was the first person to refer to the Rutgers women as hoes on the air.
Although I’m against everything Don Imus and company said I think we need to be careful with our political correctness. We’re gonna end up having free speech laws equivalent to the Patriot Act. If we start blaming rappers for Imus’ comments, and movies for violence in society, where will we stop? Is there no responsibility placed on the individual? I’ve listened to Hip Hop since 1982. I haven’t killed one person. Saving Private Ryan is one of my favorite movies yet, I’ve never gone to France to track down a missing soldier. When the shootings took place at Columbine people wanted to execute ban Marilyn Manson. Again, that’s a case of misplaced reactions which Marilyn himself talked about here.
When the double standard card is played I find myself flip flopping on the issue. I don’t think I’m appropriately equipped (mentally) to express all of my views on the subject so I will defer for the moment. Noted author and a dude that’s way smarter than me, Michael Eric Dyson, gives his views on the “N” word controversy in the video below.
I once worked at a local sports radio station with a person I would call a racist. This person is still on the air. Two of the more memorable examples of his idiocy are 1) The time he told me he believes it’s a scientific fact that whites are smarter than blacks, and 2) The time he asked me “why can you guys say nigger to each other but blacks get mad if I say nigger to them?” Being a professional, I had never uttered the word nigger or nigga in this man’s presence. I just looked at him for a second, then I asked him “who do you want to call a nigger and get away with it?” I’ve never quite understood why non-blacks get upset that blacks say nigga to one another but blacks don’t want non-blacks to call them that. I know we have equality in our country but why would a non-black want to say the word? I have no idea.
Jason Whitlock and others in the black community are placing the blame on the rappers as well. People are calling out Jesse and Al for going after Don Imus, and not saying a word to the rappers. These people are misinformed. Jesse Jackson wants to ban the use of the word nigger/niggaand Sharpton was clearly against the negative aspect of rap music when he started his “movement”. And since everyone wants to be fair and correct, is it fair and correct to lump ALL of rap music into one mysoginistic, violent, and ignorant group? Of course not. But again, the people “hatin on the culture” are misinformed. It’s gonna be interesting to see the reaction of the Universal Music Group (home to Jay-Z, Dr. Dre, Eminem, 50 Cent, and others), which is a subsidary of Vivendi SA, which also houses NBC/Universal, who just dropped Imus.
I never imagined myself spending this much time talking about Don Imus or women’s basketball. Well, Don Imus really because I’m not talking about women’s basketball, just a situation in which one team is involved. Anyways..I’m starting to ramble so I think it’s time for me to hit the dusty trail, but if you haven’t had enough of this mess follow the links.
Johnson Wong, pictured here, was fired from his flag football coaching position following his arrest during a sex sting. Wong showed up at a house hoping to hook up with the “teenaged girl” he had met on the internet. As it turns out he only met the police.
A couple of things… First, JOHNSON WONG!!?? Are you joking? His parents should be arrested for being dicks. Literally. With a name like that he had two career choices.. Porn star or pedophile. Unfortunately he chose the latter. Second, do any of these numb nut wannabe child molesters have a fucking television? Who the hell hasn’t seen To Catch A Predator with Chris Hansen? I guess if you’re online trying to pick up on underage boys and girls you’re not watching too much tv.
A couple of weeks ago I was thinking that Chris Hansen and his To Catch A Predatorseries should be called in to help the NCAA. In the span of a couple of days, Danny Ainge was fined for getting too close to Kevin Durant’s family, Michael Jordan was fined for making comments about Kevin Durant, and the Golden St. Warriors were fined for comments made by coach Don Nelson about Kevin Durant and Greg Oden.
I think Chris Hansen and his team should go online posing as college basketball stars. They should say all of the things that a 18 or 19 year old college player would say. “I’d love to play for your team”, “I’ll show you my vertical if you show me yours”, or “I just love banging hard in the paint”. Then the decoy could set-up a meeting with the horny gm. How funny would it be to see Billy King or Kevin McHale walking into a dark gym with a paper bag filled with contracts, tennis shoes, and white girls only to have Chris Hansen walk out and say “I’m Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC, what are you doing here?” Then the scared and embarrassed general manager would say things like “I swear I’ve never done anything like this before”, “I was only here to protect him from the dangers of the internet”, or my favorite “I was just coming here to talk”. The sad thing is that even after half of the gm’s in the league got busted on national television, Billy Knight or Isiah Thomas would still wander into a dark gym hoping to molest I mean seduce I mean sign the latest phenom.
Is it time for Don Imus to pack his bags and make the move to satellite?
YOU BEEN BLINDED 