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KOBE BRYANT, FUNCRUSHER

Posted by HG on May 31, 2007

kobe-allstar-mvp.jpgWe all have a buddy or know somebody that has to one-up you no matter the occasion. You can mention something great, “hey I got a new job today” and they’ll come back with “I got a promotion and a 50k raise”. You could be discussing a tragedy, “I was just watching the news about that plane crash” and he’ll hit you with “I’ve seen two plane crashes live and I survived a shipwreck”.. Whether you call ’em Parade Pissers, Spotlight Stealers, or Attention Whores, you get the point. These people hate to see others shine.

 I wasn’t gonna write anything else about Kobe until something real happened… A trade, a free agent signing, Kobe storming the Laker offices, anything. His wishy-washy, “trade me, don’t trade me” media circuit has worn me out, even if I enjoyed it briefly. When the interview carousel stopped my thoughts turned toward Kobe being a classic One-Upper. If there’s an event that Kobe can outshine, you better believe he’s gonna try.

December 20, 2005: Scores 62 points the day that the Yankees signed Johnny Damon away from the Red Sox.

January 22, 2006: Kobe scores 81 points against Toronto on the same day that the Steelers defeated the Broncos and the Seahawks defeated the Panthers in the NFL Conference Championships.

December 29, 2006 and December 31, 2006: Kobe scores 58 and 35 (only 2 free throw attempts)..The final weekend of the NFL season.

March 16, 2007 through April 3, 2007: Kobe scores 65, 50, 60, 50, 43, 23(7-26), 53, 19(6-14), and 39. The NCAA tournament started on March 15 and ended April 2nd, and MLB had it’s opening days April 1-3.

April 6, 2007 and April 8, 2007: 24 drops 46 and 34 on The Masters which took place April 5-8. Kobe didn’t break 40 on the 8th for lack of trying. He was 14-25 from the field, but 1-5 from 3 and only got to the line 5 times.

May 26, 2007-May 30, 2007: Kobe starts the trade demands and calls them off. Then starts them again then calls them off all while the NBA Conference Finals, Indy 500, and Stanley Cup Finals are taking place.

It could be something, it’s probably nothing, but if any of you are planning to get married, graduate from college, or just have a birthday party, don’t let Kobe find out.. He’ll do anything in his power to make sure his day is better than yours.

DIGG IT  *  DEL.ICIO.US  *  REDDIT  *  BALL HYPE

Posted in BASKETBALL, KOBE BRYANT, MISC., MLB, NBA, NBA PLAYOFFS, NCAA TOURNAMENT, NFL CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS, ONE UP, SPOILER, SPORTS | 28 Comments »