11 YEAR-OLDS ON ROIDS, WHAT’S NEXT? 10 YEAR-OLDS?

Weren’t 5th and 6th grade great? I remember strollin’ in to class, hopped up on Coke and jolly ranchers, and ready to learn. I played sports and I even gave my all at recess but I never used steroids. I didn’t trade my caprisun and accompanying straw for corticosteroid injections. The same can’t be said for today’s youth.

The French, tired of being the butt of jokes world wide, have a plan to show the world that they’re not soft: Doping up the kids. A study that followed 2,199 French 6th graders (They couldn’t find one more kid?) for 4 years reports that 1% of the 6th graders used a doping agent. 3% of the students had used a doping agent when polled four years later. The drugs of choice are corticosteroids, salbutamol, anabolic agents, and other stimulants. 44% of the kids polled credit PEDs, mainly stimulants, for their winning.

This is bad for a number of reasons. The biggest reason is that now whenever a kid knocks on my door selling candy or the girl scouts are posted up outside the grocery store, I have to buy something. I’m not gonna wanna risk getting beat down by some roid ragin’ pre-teen.

Here’s an easy way for kids to get “the clear and the cream”.

If you do the “no homo” thing, then NO HOMO, but here’s a good reason kids should think twice about the juice.

I hope that dude’s “just kidding”. Sadly, I don’t think he is.

Study: 11 year-old Athletes Using Doping Drugs. Courtesy of Fox News

Study: Performance Enhancing Drugs on the Rise in Middle School. Courtesy of Volunteer TV

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