BARRY BONDS SHOULD AVOID TEXAS HIGH SCHOOLS

The Lone Star state is on the verge of joining Florida and New Jersey in the war against steroids in high school. The Texas House of Representatives passed a bill on Monday to institute random steroid testing, and the state Senate approved a similar bill a while ago. There seems to be only one hold-up..Who’s gonna pay for this?

The Senate version calls for the state to pay for the program. The House version would impose a 25-cent fee to the ticket cost of high-school football and basketball games. The House plan also recommends that the state’s governing body for high- school athletics, the University Interscholastic League, run the testing program.

About 22,000 out of roughly 733,000 student athletes would be randomly tested every year. The estimated cost for handling 20 thousand cups of urine: 4 million bucks.

Here’s an argument for steroids:

Measure would allow random steroid testing of HS athletes. Courtesy of The El Paso Times

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DON’T SLEEP ON TEXAS

I’ve gotten drunk and passed out around my friends, (“Get my hat… get my NC State hat. My granddaddy gave me that hat”..mind you the hat was filled with vomit cause Gabe didn’t want me to earl in his car.) but none of my friends ever teabagged me while I was unconscious. At least not that I know of… Everytime I watch this video I feel differently about it. Sometimes I think the dude is legitimately hammered, other times I think it’s fake because he wakes his ass up and seems reasonably cognizant.

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“BUCKSHOT IN THE ASS NIGHT” A BIG HIT

Question: What do you get if you mix baseball, heckling, kinfolk, beer, shotguns, and Texas?

Answer: A great night at the ballpark.

Gunfire erupted at a East Texas community baseball game after one of the players couldn’t take being heckled anymore. The heckler, the player’s cousin, threw a beer can at the player and then all hell broke lose. The heckler and player got into a fistfight which led to one of the guys going to get a shotgun. Not to be outdone, the other genius asked the crowd if anyone had a gun he could use. The crowd obliged.

The cousins traded shots on or around the field, eventually leading to the parking lot. 4 cars were caught in the crossfire along with the player’s ass which required medical attention for 32 or 33 pellets. The other shooter was treated for injuries on his cheek, arm, and behind his ear.

I always wondered what the “No Pellet Games” sign meant. Now I know.

Broil Leads To Gunfight At Local Baseball game. Courtesy of The Tyler Paper

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